Troll 2 is, beyond everything else, an enigma. It’s a horrendously bad movie. The acting is rigid and unfamiliar, feeling so much more like the played marionettes of some twisted sadist forcing emotions than humans reciting lines. The writing is canned and unnatural; particular lines hit home in a way that’s extremely jarring and takes one out of the scene on a massively surreal level. Special effects–used grossly and in excess–are slathered in bright green goop; the sweet treat blood that the vegetarian Goblins seek.

Yeah, that’s right: Goblins. The monsters are goblins. There are no ‘trolls’ to speak of in the movie.

Despite all of this, Troll 2 holds its place as one of my favorites. It represents everything I love and respect in trash cinema. It has absolutely no idea what it’s doing as a movie, and still manages to be one of most entertainingly bad things ever committed to screen.

The premise? Vegetarian goblins live in a quaint little cult-ass town, feed people special green goo that turns them into plants, and eat them. Pretty straightforward stuff. 

From the second we enter Nilbog–that’s, uh, goblin spelled backwards–we’re graced with demented assaults to every tangible sense of good taste. A helpful phantom grandpa who’s a little too friendly, a shopkeeper who demands you take his special milk, an absolutely lunatic popcorn-fueled sex scene with a TV witch in a winnebago; Troll 2 has it all.

While bombing upon release, this phenomenal cropdust of filmreel insanity has achieved maximum cult status, even earning itself an amazing 2009 documentary (directed by the movie’s child star Michael Stephenson) named Best Worst Movie; it’s as depressing and hilarious as it is informative.

Watch the trailer on Youtube

TROLL 2 / CLAUDIO FRAGASSO / 1990

Plucking a pick from the bottom of the media barrel, Cult of Trash focuses on books and films where the takeaway is ultimate cheese that leaves you wondering why and then asking for more. Giallo, pulp, sci-fi schlock, exploitation, and so much more garbage. Cult of Trash is a guest-post from the blog Kiss Of The Witch.